meekness: weakness or humility?

I am constantly perplexed by my own attitude of judgmentalism. I am also perplexed by my possible making up of words...

Here is the dilemma. I am someone who sees--with much clarity--how things can be done in an efficient manner. I am also thick-headed enough to feel that if I see something being done in a different way, usually less efficiently than my own, I should comment, or lend my "expertise" to the situation, thus making the world a better place.

YIKES! Yes, folks, I said it. I am being painfully honest right now. And to SOME degree, we all have this deep within us. Many people do not possess this nasty nature to such a degree as myself, I am guessing, but it is there. Sometimes it manifests itself in a different way. Sometimes, we find faults in others and then we justify our actions of not wanting to live life with those people by saying things like, "I just can't handle that kind of [fill in the blank] in my life right now." We find ways of talking ourselves right out of being joined to someone God has pretty much placed in our lives for a specific purpose.

Sometimes it manifests itself in not treating those with special needs the way they ought to be treated. Don't get me wrong--some people are horrific in their treatment of people with special needs, even people in general. I am not speaking directly about those types of behaviors. I am speaking of the mother/father/friend/relative or whomever who just doesn't understand a child who has needs that they themselves do not. They love the child, but there is always an element of disdain hanging over their heads because of a particular shortcoming that is clearly more evidenced in this child's life than any shortcomings they have in their own lives.

Life will never be fair. Life will never be perfect. Here on Earth. The curse of sin is much too prevalent in our world to ever accomplish anything else. We absolutely can conquer many faults and problems in our own hearts and lives with the help of our Redeemer and the Holy Spirit, and even help others to change their own hearts and lives, but the world is in a state of decay and death.

In many various conversations with people, prayers with God, and readings from many different sources (including the Word of God), I have been completely inundated with this dilemma more times than I can recount in the last month or so. Here is what I have discovered...

As human beings, we love conditionally. There are certain conditions we subconsciously place on our relationships and standards of love. It is part of our flesh. It comes not only from our culture and peer training, but also from within our sin-tainted hearts. We set standards that no one can live up to, and therefore always will have some conflict or another within our own hearts. It may never come to the surface and out into the open air, but it is there.

The great news is that when we willingly pour our messed up lives out and begin to live in the Spirit and grow with His power and strength, we can actually change those fleshy standards. Truly, this condition is all about selfishness. It is only with the help of THE Helper (The Holy Spirit) that we can leave our selfish ways and work toward loving as God loves. I know in my heart that I have not even begun to scratch the surface of my conditional heart, but I DO know that construction has begun long ago, and will not stop until He completes His work in me. Unless I decide to stop. Which I never plan to do. Ever.

Here's the bottom line: God loves us just the way we are. It doesn't matter whether we are choosing to live in sin or in freedom. It doesn't matter whether we are failing spiritually or at the top of our game. It doesn't matter if we have special needs, mental challenges, or other dilemmas. Financial woes. Relational woes. Weight issues. It doesn't matter. What matters is that Creator God made you, made me. He designed us. Crafted us. Before we knew ourselves, He knew us. (Jeremiah 1:5)

So, if God can love us and send His only Son here to die for us, even with the knowledge that we chose independence from Him (sin) over relationship with Him, does it stand to reason that He can do that same work within my heart? I have chosen to rely on Him not only for my salvation, but also for my strength, wisdom, daily bread, and any other thing that I need.

So my prayer for now is this: let me be meek in my ways, walking upright, humbly, and with You, Lord. Let me never look down on someone for a shortcoming. Let me never puff myself up by thinking that my ways are the only ways, or the best ways, of doing something. And let me not be swayed by any standard the world may throw in my face, for the world is not my Lord; You are.

Matthew 7:3-5

Lastly, this is a quote from a brilliant man... let it not go in one eye and out the other. :-)

"The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. He has accepted God's estimate of his own life: In himself, nothing; In God, everything. He knows well that the world will never see him as God sees him and he has stopped caring." --A.W. Tozer