Cropped

While walking past a car the other day, I thought I saw a serene country scene, sort of resting on the dashboard. As I approached, eagerly straining to see the landscape that had been so wonderfully captured in this photograph, I realized it wasn’t a picture at all, but the rear-view mirror on the other side of the car. I was simply seeing a snippet of what was behind me. 

What was the difference? Cropping. The mirror had so cunningly cut out all of the houses, power lines, and any other bits of city life that were so obviously surrounding me. It’s quite astounding to think about what a little cropping can do for perspective.

I recently was not diagnosed with any particular condition, concerning some strange muscle problems, and all I could do was feel frustration, anger, and the unknown, looming over my weary body. My aching and burning muscles seemed to scream in desperation for something, anything... to put a name to their pains; all to no avail. No answers... yet. 

That day had been filled with multitudes of tears and complete anguish. All I wanted was to have a solution to my problem, and what the doctor did say brought more frustration than anything: the one thing she hypothesized, has no fix. Again--anguish, desperation, grieving to the nth degree. Tears were overflowing, spilling down into my brand new blue pashmina, and visible, physical sobbing took place while I drove home. 

Now I think back to that cropped “picture” of my surroundings. What a work of art. And if we really look into our own situations in life, whatever they may be, I bet we could find little masterpieces all around, surrounding us, waiting to be discovered and reveled in. God, our most loving and sovereign Creator, has hidden clues to His greatness all around us. He has given us little puzzles to piece together throughout the span of our lives, whether they are around us physically, or maybe somehow the pieces have been woven throughout the fabric of our very lives, traversing the many days and months and years that number us. 

I feel so very blessed to know that the many blood tests I did go through came back normal and not problematic. I really couldn’t see that at the very moment of the great revealing; that these results meant great things, marvelous things. I don’t need a kidney transplant, I don’t have chronic blood disorders, I have normally functioning organs, praise God! 

So whatever situation arises in our lives, whether they are small, or seem to be larger than anything this side of the atmosphere, remember to take out your tools and start looking for snippets to crop and frame. Those are the elements in life to remember. Those are the pieces that will always glorify God, that will cause a smile to form upon His fatherly face. It’s a glorious thing when your child is able to look outwardly, from a broken inward situation, and see the proverbial silver lining. And how much greater is it when that person uses this gift--this cropped portrait from within the larger, possibly uglier picture--and gifts it to someone else. A glimmer of faith arises, a soul is reborn. Finding God in common situations is beautiful. Finding God in difficult ones, a miracle.

As the apostle Paul said:

“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 

“It is written: ‘I believed; therefore I have spoken.’ With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:6-18

Evan (A short story)

Evan took a long, drawn out look across the dusty road. He knew this day might not ever come again and he wanted to be the first to take it all in. His sandy hair frolicked in the wind--the same wind that was stirring up the powdery, dry dust. As he stood there, his frayed denim overalls hanging a full two inches shy of his ankles, he began to notice the patterns in the clouds. Maybe it was the intense heat. Maybe it was the lack of inspiration. All Evan could see were waterfalls and springs up in that vast, hot sky. Oh how he longed for something to quench his thirst! But he would not leave his post. He dared not, even for a minute. He might miss it! The main event--the reason for such exposure to the arid and dusty hotness that swarmed around his very being--was more important than a mouthful of sweet, cool water from the stream that passed behind the log house that he called home. He would not falter. He would not miss it. 

Almost as if in a dream, his kid sister, Betsy, was standing next to him instantly. Where she came from he did not know, but now he was not alone. This moment--if it was truly going to happen today--would be better shared with a friend by his side. She gently nudged her brother and with a sheepish grin, he acknowledged her presence. Betsy had always admired Evan. Even when he found himself in the most defeating of circumstances he always found a way to bring about joy and contentment to his surroundings. 

There was the time when he accidentally let the neighbors horses out of their corral and ended up spending the entire Sunday morning helping to find them. Ma was the least happy in all of this, for Evan had ripped his new Sunday trousers and had missed the meeting that day. Betsy was the one that stayed after and swept up the meeting room. It was Evan’s job to do so, but he had missed, and she didn’t want him to lose his job. He always shared his earnings with her in the form of penny candy. The townspeople usually had some remark or another about Betsy’s endlessly sticky cheeks, but she didn’t mind.    

When Evan came home that late afternoon, his face smudged with mud, shins scuffed and bruised, and trousers torn, Ma nearly came undone. Betsy remembered the heavy, disconcerted sighs coming from the dining room while Ma mended the new trousers. She knew Ma was going to give Evan a real stern talkin’ to, maybe even a whoopin’, and wished Evan could go back in time and keep those horses penned up! Betsy always had a strong sense of camaraderie with her only sibling. He had four years on her, but that had always proven beneficial for this fledgling pioneer. 

Evan had walked into the dining room and looked at his Ma. Then he spoke for the first time since he had come home. “I know you are mighty upset with me Ma, and I don’t blame you. I’m real sorry I tore my trousers, and missed Sunday meetin’. And I don’t blame you for bein’ angry with me. But Ma, I had to find those horses. It was my fault. And I couldn’t let Farmer Bennigan lose his only two horses. That’s all he’s got. I did what I had to, and helpin’ our neighbor is a mighty important part of livin’ like Jesus would have us to live, right Ma?” Evan had paused. He knew the best part of the morning’s events was about to escape his mouth and he was a little excited, despite the trouble he should be in. He continued, “And guess what? Farmer Bennigan said I could come over and borrow the horses come plowin’ under time. And with Pa gone and all, well, that seems like a mighty nice thing for him to offer.”

Tears welled up in Ma’s eyes and for the next few minutes she sat in silence. Finally she spoke. “Evan, you’re a good boy. Now get on up to bed, son. Get on up to bed.” Even in those times of seeming troubles, Betsy was always amazed at Evan’s ability to turn things around. 

Just then a sharp, hot wind kicked up and blew gritty sand into the faces of the two children. Hands shot up to cover eyes and backs turned into the wind for protection. Evan felt the hot sand sting his dry lips and once again wished for a cool drink of water. “What are you doin’ out here anyway, Evan?” Betsy hollered. “It’s so hot and windy! Why don’t we go find a shady tree to sit under at least?”

“No way,” Evan countered. “I’m not gonna miss it!”

The wind finally gave way to a much softer breeze and the children turned around again, facing that familiar field across the dirt road in front of their paltry farm. “How long you suppose it’s been, Evan, since the last time?” Betsy couldn’t remember, because she had just been a baby when Evan watched for the first and only time the great event had taken place. 

“About four years. Now quiet, please,” Evan implored. “I just wanna watch, okay?”

Betsy didn’t understand what today was all about, but she knew it meant something to Evan. What was so special about watching men walk through a field? But Evan knew. He knew exactly how important this was, and wasn’t going to miss it for the world. And then it happened. It started!

Evan heard the sound of at least a hundred feet, marching in time to a drummer’s cadence. The bobbing heads of nearly five dozen men broke through on the horizon. They cut through the arid, dusty air, marking the path for the men who followed behind, marching, marching. It was truly a sight to behold. The uniforms weren’t much to look at, but the fact that they were marching home was what mattered. Some were bandaged, some were limping. Some hadn’t come home at all. 

Evan stood, still as a statue, as they came closer and closer to the road. It was a terrifying sight to see all those men carrying weapons, but Evan knew there was something of a peaceful resolve because of the very weapons in question. It was finished. The war had ended and the men had come home. How beautiful it was to see familiar faces! 

“So what now?” Betsy had broken the sacred silence that Evan had been reveling in up until that moment. With a bit of indignation and even more sorrow, Evan replied. “Now we wait.”

The two children stood still, watching as every last farmer-turned-soldier passed by. Evan spoke in a voice so small that Betsy thought as though she had imagined it. “Bye Pa. Thanks for giving your life so that we could have ours.”

All at once Evan felt an urge, a need, to run away, to cry, to scream at the top of his lungs, to fall down from sheer emotional exhaustion all at once. He had once lived the life of a care-free child. Playing in the fields, rousing the horses, squirting fresh, warm milk straight from their cow into his mouth, and laughing so hard his sides and cheeks ached with happiness were all a thing of the past for him now. 

It seemed the only thing certain in his life was the little sticky-cheeked girl at his side. Betsy was such a bright, bobbing little tot; always rich enough to give away every smile and hug that welled up from within her. She possessed a heart that Evan knew had no equal and he was thankful for his sister. 

Ma had fallen into a deep sadness the very day they got the news that Pa had fallen in the war. He was such a strong man and a loving husband and father. Evan knew at that moment that life had changed forever. Ma was now his responsibility and he wouldn’t disappoint his Pa. As the days passed into months, and months passes into years, Ma rarely looked on life the way she did before the war. It seemed almost as if Betsy had adopted all the joy that once dwelt within Ma’s beautiful heart. 

But Evan knew that Ma could be revived. She only looked hopeless. Every night, this new man of the house would kneel by his bed and pray into the vast midnight sky for her sake. And every night he went to sleep to the sad melody of his mother’s near-silent cries. He had to believe that she would get better. It was true that he had lost Pa, and there was nothing he could do about that. There was no way he would lose Ma too. And so he became her pillar of strength. At seven years of age, this youth had given up the whimsy of childhood to became a man.

The last soldier stumbled past the somber pair as Evan executed a shoddy salute. It seemed as though even with his practicing, when the time finally came to raise his hand, all energy was stripped from him along with the rest of his composure. He slowly lowered his hand as a sorrowful and heavy sigh escaped from his dry lips. A few moments passed as the children stood, listening to the memory of the drums as pangs of grief washed over them both like stormy waves in the night sea.

Evan and Betsy silently turned and walked into the house, closing the door behind them. They found Ma, sitting at the fireplace, weeping. Betsy ran to Ma’s side, sat down and began stroking her hair. Evan mustered up every ounce of courage he had in his nine-year-old self and said, “You know, Jesus died so we could live, and now Pa has, too. In a way, Pa got a real honor, to know more of what it was like for our Lord. We’ll see him again, Ma. We’ll see him again.” And with that he fell to the floor and joined Ma in remembering the great man who was once husband, father, and friend; who would always be a child of God.

Upside-down: not just for cakes anymore...

First of all, it has been a while. And for that, I do apologize... however, if I feel no inspiration to write, I usually don't write. Who wants to be bored by MY drivel? Not me. So tonight, I am moved. Inspired. Pregnant with a pondering, and thankfully nothing more...

Have you ever just laid down on a bench and looked at the world around you with your head upside-down? I used to do this in college. Quite frequently, actually. I would notice the intricacies of the trees, how the branches looked more gnarly from the underside... How the leaves seemed to simply hover above my eyes... How the canopy was like the underside of an umbrella, and it was breathtaking. People walking down the sidewalk took on a much more comical appearance. They sort of bounced along, like little dwarves on the moon. It was always fun to explore from a new perspective.

I was standing at church one Sunday, during worship, singing along to a truly great worship song, when I got this amazingly cool picture of myself, along with many others, standing before the throne of God, with Jesus entering the room. And the pondering began.

Have you ever noticed that everyone bows before royalty? If you’ve ever watched one of those movies from the medieval times, you would see peasants falling face-down before a prince (thank you Everafter...), or even the aristocracy bowing very low and averting their eyes before the king and queen. This was customary. This was law. If you didn’t do it, you could be beaten, thrown into prison, left for dead. It was a serious matter. You bowed before the king. His heralds went ahead of him to warn you that he was making his way through the streets so you could get your head down and genuflect before him.

I started thinking about how when Jesus, the King of Glory and our Redeemer, came into the room in my vision, we all remained standing. And it was right. It was fitting and holy and amazing. It got me to pondering about why it was good and proper that we should remain upright before the King of Kings. And the world turned upside-down. You see, we are not only redeemed, bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus, the Messiah, but we are also credited with His righteousness! When God looks upon Lauren, He doesn’t see Lauren, in her flesh and stupidity. He doesn’t see her faults and sins. What He sees, when He looks at Lauren (or anyone who is born again), is Jesus. 

This may be a tough one to grasp, but let’s think on this together for a moment... Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. He was crucified for our sins. The sins of the world could never be covered by all the lambs, goats, oxen, and doves from ancient history to our modern day. It just wasn’t enough. It was like applying pressure to the horrific gash until the paramedics arrived. God’s plan was never to allow the sacrifices to continue forever, because He knew full well that it wasn’t really good enough. With that mindset, we would go on, in our own strength, sinning and sacrificing till the day we died. It wasn’t enough. 

Enter Jesus. The truly perfect, pure and spotless Lamb. His sacrifice bought and paid for every single sin, and it was good enough because He was perfect. He was God and man, and chose to deny His divinity for 33 short years, to walk and live and breathe among His creation. To be tempted as we are tempted. To eat and sleep just like the rest of us. To be mocked and scoffed at because of His radical way of teaching, thinking, living. I mean, who ever heard of such crazy talk? In order to be first, you must be last. In order to be the greatest, you must be the least. It’s upside-down, and much of the world doesn’t understand it. And for this reason, much of the world doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. If they only knew... 

So this Jesus: spotless, blameless, sinless, comes onto the scene, and lives an amazingly sin-free life. Not only did he not sin, but he also did many wonderful things while here. He healed people all over the land. Blind men saw, deaf men heard, bleeding women were made whole, dead people rose and lived again! Lame men walked, demon-possessed children were set free, the list goes on and on. He taught with more wisdom and knowledge of the scriptures than any rabbi ever had. He unlocked mysteries to men and women, yet confounded the pharisees. He told the rich that in order to follow Him, they needed to become poor (sell all they had). Hmm... to be rich, you have to be poor. More inversion...

Okay, so we have this amazing man in Jesus... but wait, there’s more... and I’m not talking about a set of Ginsu knives, folks. I’m talking about the ultimate sacrifice: Jesus, living a perfect life, decided that He would go to bat for us, a sinful and truly depraved people. HE died so that I might live... truly live. When I understood this next thing, my life flipped faster than grandma’s Pineapple Upside-down Cake. 

The life we live, as born again believers, is full and rich and glorious. Why? Because Jesus’ blood paid the price for all our sins. Every last one of ‘em. Past, present, future. They’re history. Actually, they’re no more. And what He did then is just astonishing. He gave us His righteousness! We aren’t walking around with a blank slate, so to speak. We are (or we should be) walking around this earth, carrying the righteousness of Christ!! All His purity, all His love, all His sinlessness... It’s ours, by way of His blood covering us. We “put on Christ,” as Paul writes in Galatians 3:27. No, this doesn’t mean life’s a bunch of sunshine and roses... but it does mean that we, being covered by the blood of Jesus, don’t have to walk in defeat ever again. 

And this is why we are allowed to stand upright when we enter in, to the most amazing and holy place, and worship our Lord Jesus Christ. We can stand boldly before the throne of God and shout and dance and sing before our God in worship to Him. And of course, we can also bow low and fall on our face before Him, too. Sometimes that’s the way to go. But know that Jesus came to turn this place upside-down. And know that the view this way is much better.